Parenting a Child with Life-Threatening Allergies: My Very Best Piece of Advice

As the new year begins, I’ve been thinking about the best advice that I can give to parents who are wondering what they can do for their child to help keep them safe and reaction-free. After a lot of thought, this is it: Teach your kids to self-manage their allergies and be their own best advocates.

Please let me clarify: others need to know, too. Relatives, friends and schools MUST be educated on food allergy realities and risks. Young kids who can't advocate and/or understand must be protected.

However, as kids grow up and go out in the world, it's up to us to prepare them to live with their allergies. In the end, it all comes down to the individual: what they ingest, the choices they make and the understanding they have about allergies.

I've got a kid with severe, anaphylactic allergies attending high school next fall and I've been where many of you are now. Elementary school had its fair share of challenges and middle school, with its increasing independence gave us a few more, like our first overnight, several-hours-away field trip with the class. Oh, and her friends are all going out to eat on their own now, too. It's now my daughter's job to check out a restaurant, speak up there and if need be, avoid the place.

 The only reason I have ever felt comfortable with any of it is because I have worked with my daughter over the years, she's invested in her own health and I trust her to make the right decisions. Thank goodness, she is very strong and confident in avoiding what she needs to avoid and speaking up when she needs to speak up. Is it always fun or comfortable for her? No, of course not. But it's necessary and she knows this. Her attitude of taking charge of her allergies also means that she can do most things that she wants to do.

When she was young, I spoke up for her, paved the way and did everything I could to ensure a safe, healthy environment that was also emotionally healthy. I like to think that what I did helped her learn that its OK to take charge of allergies; in fact, not only OK but a vital part of our lives.

How do you get to this point? Prepare kids, but don't SCARE them. Not always easy, I know, but there are ways (see below). Your pediatrician or allergist is also a great resource here as they discuss (privately!) the ways you can teach your child, depending on their age and level of development.

Below are some strategies that I have found to be helpful when teaching kids self-management of allergies:

Teach your child to use their epinephrine auto-injectors. De-mystify those things as soon as you can and emphasize that if your child is in trouble, this device is their friend. Let them use the practice injectors as much as possible. My own child really likes the Auvi-Q with its voice instructions and shorter dosage time (5 seconds in the thigh as opposed to 10).

Take your child to the grocery store and read food labels together. Obviously take age and development into account but if you have a young reader or pre-reader, this is a great thing to do. To this day my daughter is a more effective label-reader than I am (but she's got young, sharp eyes, too. :))

Discuss cross-contact and why its difficult to know what is in a food prepared in someones home, or without a label.

Emphasize the "when in doubt, do without" rule. The golden rule of food allergies!  If you have questions about a food and you can't determine the answers, teach your child to just skip it. My favorite rule, ever. Just remind the kiddos, nobody wants to go to the hospital over a cookie or a piece of candy. If you're a really prepared parent, you've probably got a "safe" replacement with you, anyway.

Offer to have the kids work with you in the kitchen. Even little ones can do simple tasks like washing a vegetable or fruit. One of the unfortunate side-effects of food allergies is that some kids may become afraid of all food--and you definitely don't want that. Show them that there are still lots of good things to eat by having them help you cook.

Speak up in a restaurant with food allergy questions and let your child hear what you are asking and the answers you receive. If they are old enough, have them do the asking. It might be scary for kids at first, but once they get used to doing it, it really can increase their ability to dine out safely. Speaking up also teaches kids what types of establishments they may need to avoid.

Explain how to prevent allergic reactions using simple things like washing hands.

What it boils down to is incorporating food allergy management into your child's everyday life so that they come to learn that this is just the way they need to do things. Then, it becomes less of a big deal, it becomes part of your child's routine and once they are more independent, they will have to tools to navigate life more safely.

One note: If you ever think your child is getting overanxious about allergies and it's interfering with living their life or preventing them from doing things that could be done safely, then please read one of my blog's most popular posts featuring expert input from a therapist that treats kids with food allergies. 

Here is one of my most popular posts that deals with the topic of teaching kids to manage their peanut/tree nut allergy. Lots of good links in this one, too.

For more nut-allergy parenting help, check out my e-book, an Amazon bestseller on this topic, so thanks to all of you!

Valentine's Day!

It's coming up and yes, that means unsafe candy will be a factor. Still, if you are prepared, this is a fun holiday, even with food allergies. Check back to the blog soon about safe, nut-free Valentine's Day ideas. In the meantime, click this link for nut-free Valentine's Day candy ideas found at the supermarket, and this link for online nut-free Valentine's Day candy and sweet treats resources. If you're a Pinner, be sure to follow me on Pinterest: I've got a board for Nut-Free Valentine's Day with recipes and craft ideas.

Nut Allergy Resources for the New Year -- and My Thanks!

I want to wish all of you a very Happy New Year! I would also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read my blog, bought my e-book and commented on the blog in the past several years -- I so appreciate your readership, product tips and other info that you share to help others in our shoes. Your readership and support has made my blog an award-winning blog and my book one of the top sellers on Amazon in the allergy genre, so thank you! I am truly humbled and gratified if these resources have helped guide you as you learn to adapt to life with a severe peanut and/or tree nut allergy.

Thanks also to everyone who has given me positive feedback. My most recent example is the mom who said she found my blog and was 'in tears' because I was describing experiences and situations she was very familiar with. I started this blog to help parents and caregivers feel less alone while also providing practical tips for everyday life, especially important when you are just starting out with a nut allergy diagnosis.

2014 marks the beginning of the sixth year of my blog -- can you believe it? -- and I've written more than 600 posts about the many aspects of living with and dealing with a life-threatening nut allergy. If you'd like to search those posts, check out the "search bar" in the upper left corner of the blog and enter a key word like "school" or "nut-free recipe." You will find a list of blog posts on your topic. Just a reminder: this blog is not for medical advice, but for the social, emotional and every day aspects of living with food allergies. For medical info, always ask your doctor.

Here are some popular posts from my blog to get your started as we begin the new year:

New Year, New Nut Allergy Diagnosis?

Have you received a nut allergy diagnosis in the past year? Here's an article that describes some of the things I've found to be most helpful in helping your child, family and yourself learn to adapt.

New Year's Nut Allergy Checklist

Are you halfway through the school year with a child who has a severe peanut and/or tree nut allergy? Then you'll want to review this checklist to help you plan the rest of your healthy, happy school year. Click here to read the complete article.

In this article, I talk about updating your prescriptions, so check out this helpful info about epinephrine auto-injectors that I found by following food allergy advocate and author Linda Coss on Twitter.  EpiPen (R) and Auvi-Q (TM) are both continuing their "zero co-pay" offers in 2014. Sign up to download your coupons at https://activatemysavings.com/epipen/ and https://www.auvi-q.com/sign-up Thanks for sharing, Linda! For those of you who haven't tried the Auvi-Q yet, here's a post I wrote after we got our Auvi-Q device.

If you're looking for nut-free recipes, nut allergy articles and the like in a really easy-to-use format, I hope you'll check out my Pinterest page. Lots of good stuff there and tons of recipes, school lunch ideas, holiday stuff -- check it out and then follow me! Here's a direct link to my nut allergy resources board, but I've got lots of others, too -- (not all boards are allergy-related, so scroll through the list to find the ones that suit you best.) You might want to also try my Nut-Free School Lunches board and Nut-Free Recipes. I have holiday boards too, so keep checking back as I add more recipes and ideas.

Nut Allergy Guidance for Parents and Caregivers

Based on years of my own experience, my e-book provides parents and caregivers with answers and guidance on some of your top questions. Written from the perspective of a parent in your situation (yours truly), "The New Nut-Free Mom: A Crash Course in Caring for Your Child with Nut Allergies" is short, concise and compassionate. Available for download via the Kindle, the Nook, to your iPad or tablet and more. Click here to find out how to get this helpful guide.

Happy New Year!! As you prepare to face the new challenges of 2014, I wish you all the best!

Happy Nut-Free Holidays! Tips for Navigating Holiday Parties, Baking Resources, Class Parties and More!

Have a sweet holiday by planning ahead for
potential food allergy pitfalls.

We're in the heart of the holiday season and if you have kids with food allergies, that can mean extra stress. Everything from holiday parties to visiting Santa at the mall takes on a new dimension when dealing with life-threatening nut allergies, but you don't have to let food allergies stand in the way of enjoying the holidays! True, food is everywhere but if you plan ahead and are prepared for it, you can keep the allergic family members healthy and happy and best of all, keep yourself healthy and happy.

If you are just starting out with severe nut allergies, finding a balance can sound impossible, especially dealing with holiday parties. Take a deep breath, realize you can't do it all and then check out my best tips for a nut-free, stress-free holiday including advice on navigating holiday parties.

Here's one tip I didn't include in that post but realize I should have. When you attend a cookie exchange, potluck, or really any holiday party with food of unknown origin, I do not recommend the following: asking everyone in the room whether or not the food has nuts in it as a basis for evaluating whether or not you should feed it to your allergic kiddo.

Why? Because, even if the food doesn't have nuts in it, cross-contact could have occurred during the cooking/baking process. Or the cook or baker could have used ingredients that have a cross-contact warning. Or the cook/baker's kitchen might have a lot of the allergen present and cross-contact can occur that way. Or one of the kids could have eaten peanut butter and stuck their finger in the batter when Mom or Dad or Grandma wasn't looking.

I could go on, but I think you probably get the gist: you have no way of knowing if a food is safe if it's unlabeled and made in another kitchen where the family does not deal with allergies. I know it's hard but it's best to avoid these home baked items of unknown origin.

What if Santa is giving out candy?

Recently, a reader wrote to me regarding how to deal with Santa at the mall when he's handing out candy and such after the kids visit him. This is a tough one because kids believe that Santa knows everything about them, so why would he give them unsafe candy?

Ideally, you have taught or are in the process of teaching kids to question any candy they get -- even if given to them by a trusted adult. Santa is no exception and you can tell the kids that he is very busy and occasionally makes a mistake. If your child gets candy from Santa and you can't determine if it's safe or not (for example, it has no label), one thing you can do is to immediately switch it with something from your own pocket. If your child questions you, you can say, "Oh, Santa gave you the wrong thing by mistake. One of his elves gave me this candy. I checked it and it's safe for you." Or whatever works for your situation -- you're a parent, I'm sure you're creative.

A lot of us will be baking, so if you have vanilla extract questions? Click here for baking tips and ingredients info. For those of you with general baking questions, this post has some thoughts for those without allergies who want to bake for us, while this post is geared to the families personally dealing with nut allergies.

Need nut-free Christmas dessert recipe ideas? This archived post has some good ones, plus check out my Pinterest board, "Christmas Sweets (Nut-Free)."

For some general advice on nut allergies and the holidays, check out these 6 excellent tips from SunButter sunflower seed spread: they quoted me and shared some of my fave tips for parents.

Looking for nut-free candy finds at the supermarket? Here are some that you will see on store shelves.

School parties this week? Click this link for an article about food allergies and school parties that I wrote for Chicago Parent magazine.

Please feel free to share your holiday solutions in the comments below. All best wishes for a very happy holiday season!

For more parent-to-parent advice on successfully navigating nut allergies, click here.

Nut-Free for the Holidays: Hershey's Nut-Free Chocolate Options plus Nut-Free Holiday Food Resources!

If you're dealing with nut allergies at the Christmas holidays, you've come to the right place. Today, I'm featuring one of my favorite annual posts: nut-free candy, supermarket finds and online retailers specializing in nut-free goodies. Here's to a peanut-free and tree nut-free Christmas!

One question that I get a lot is: Is Hershey's chocolate nut-free? The good news first: a lot of it is. Hershey is a company that will label for any and all cross-contact risk. While not all of it is safe for those with peanut and tree nut allergies, you will be able to tell by reading the label: they list it. If you do NOT see a "may contains" warning or something similar, then, according to my numerous conversations with Hershey, the product is safe for you to use.

That being said: read each label carefully (for any product!). Here's an archived post all about Hershey brand chocolates; the post includes the company web site and phone number if you need more info on any of their products. I always encourage people to do their own research as we don't all share the same allergy issues, but in general, Hershey is one of the best-labeled food brands out there.

Pictured above are a holiday favorite: Hershey-ettes. I often use those to decorate our homemade gingerbread house and they make a fun stocking stuffer.

Likewise, the Tootsie Roll company is well-labeled and all of their items are made in a peanut-free, tree nut-free, gluten-free facility. Besides Tootsie pops, rolls and those types of candies, the company makes Andes brand mints and baking bits -- peppermint and chocolate mint, both perfect for holiday baking at this time of year.

Here are some more of my favorite allergy-friendly companies. Below you'll find nut-free candies, raw ingredients, bakeries and treats, many of which I'm happy to have as sponsors of this site. Best of all, many of these resources are online for super-easy shopping -- no fighting through crowds, bad weather or traffic!

Surf Sweets

From a company based in Chicago, these all-natural organic gummies are free of the top 10 food allergens and they are now available in a fun "holiday mix" that I intend to use as decor for my Christmas baking. These would also be a great stocking stuffer!

Vermont Nut-Free Chocolates

These delicious gourmet chocolates are safe for peanut and tree nut allergies and they make great stuff year round, but their Christmas and other holiday items are especially wonderful. Great holiday shapes, baking chocolate, hot chocolate, gourmet truffles and new this year, hot chocolate mix and Advent calendars. Our Christmas is not complete without some caramel pretzel bark and some Santa-shaped chocolates. They also make a nut-free "M & M" type candy called "Skippers" which is one of my daughter's favorite nut-free candies.

Dean's Sweets

Based out of Portland, Maine, this craft chocolatier is NUT-FREE and creates simply delicious, sophisticated chocolates. You can stop into their storefront shop if you're lucky enough to live nearby, otherwise, order seasonal and unique chocolate truffles online. I've received these chocolates as a gift and they are incredible. For the adult with allergies or the parent of a child with allergies who doesn't want any nut allergens in the house, these a  great gift of self-indulgence. 

(Unfortunately ;) ), my kids love them too.

Spangler's Candies

A top 8 allergen-free facility, with great options including popular seasonal candy canes and starlight mints (though the starlights need to be ordered in bulk. Good for parties, though!) You can find these pretty much anywhere -- we love them.

Gimbal's Fine Candies

They have great seasonal mixes, are all-natural and delicious with really creative flavors. You can find Gimbal's at Walmart and many other supermarkets. Top 8 allergen-free, gluten-free too!

Skeeter Snacks

You can order these delicious cookies online, but Skeeter Snacks nut-free treats are increasingly found in stores like Walgreens, CostCo and Toys R Us, so be on the lookout! All the great flavors are here and they use wholesome "real" ingredients, but in a dedicated peanut-free and tree nut-free facility. If you're looking for a nut-free cookie to share with a group, these won't break the bank either. They've got lots of fun ideas like edible crafts and decorating on their Pinterest page.

More help for the holidays:

If you need advice on navigating nut allergies, family parties and have general questions about dealing with nut allergies (as many of us do, especially during the holidays), check out my e-book. Available on Amazon and also Barnes and Noble, this is a reliable resource for your many questions and concerns.

Nut-free bakeries

For the bakeries below: Order now if you need baked goods for the holidays! Many of these bakeries are getting booked, so make that call now if you need something. :)

Nutphree's Cupcakes

This is a fabulous nut-free local bakery that offers pickup and delivery of custom creations, or you can now find Nutphree's cupcakes in Mariano's grocery stores in the Chicago area. They make beautiful cupcakes and layer cakes, so don't wait if you need something for the holidays. Recently they created gorgeous custom cakes for my daughter's school cast party (Guys and Doll)  and they were the talk of the evening!  Dedicated nut-free facility. (Local delivery only.)

Cakes for Occasions

They've got a storefront in Danver's, MA with a huge selection, gorgeous decorated items and such, but you can order many of their goodies online including seasonal cookie kits and nut-free macarons! They are a dedicated nut-free facility that ships nationwide.

Jeanne's BakeShop

A nut-free bakery out of Lynnfield, MA, Jeanne's has a beautiful array of goodies for you to choose from. They will ship out of state--check with them for details. They offer undecorated cookies for cookie-decorating parties, too. Dedicated nut-free facility!

Sweet Alexis

If you need nut-free, egg-free and dairy-free, the folks at Sweet Alexis have you covered. They will ship nationwide and they also operate a storefront in California. Check out their beautiful seasonal goodies like cookies and cupcakes -- all allergy-friendly!

Healthy Food Options

If you and your kids need a sugar break, there are some wonderful nut-free treats out there that will fit the bill.

Candice Foods 

A company out of Michigan, Candice Foods makes the most amazing snack bars I've ever tasted and they are free of most common food allergens plus gluten. With flavors like Chocolate Mint, Raspberry and many more, you get a sweet treat that's even good for you! Dedicated nut-free facility, organic, all natural. Order online; available in some local MI stores.

Enjoy Life Foods

Free of the top 8 allergens plus a few others, they make all-natural foods that are nut-free, delicious and good for you. We love the nut-free trail mix, new Decadence Bars and pretty much everything they've got. The granola is great for a coffee cake topping -- and it's nut-free! They also make dairy-free chocolate candy bars called Boom Choco Boom. Available in many supermarkets.

SunButter brand sunflower seed butter

My favorite peanut butter substitute, I use this stuff in a lot of our holiday baking, including my "world-famous" No nuts 'peanut butter' chocolate bars. (That recipe is not a "health food" one, but at least you're getting some healthy protein!) The website is filled with more recipes for snacks and baked goods as well as entrees. Peanut-free, tree nut-free, gluten-free.

I hope these food resources are helpful to you! Please be sure to share your favorite additional resources and remember--always check food labels and call companies with your individual questions.

Check back on the blog soon for more holiday recipes and info to help make your season bright -- not to mention healthy and nut-free.

Nut-Free Baking: Info You Need to Know

That delicious-looking dessert may not be safe for someone with severe food allergies.  

Holiday baking time is upon us once again and that's OK with me, for the most part. As readers of this blog know, I am no stranger to baking, so bring it on!

But first, let's talk about baking for food-allergic people when you are not dealing with food allergies in your home. As I always do at this time of year, I've received several questions from friends and relatives of allergic people who would like to make a safe and nut-free baked creation, or who have been called upon to do so for the purposes of a holiday meal.

Before I get into substitutions for peanuts/tree nuts in recipes or what brand of food coloring to use, this is the first suggestion I always have for anyone with this question:

Talk to the allergic person's family (or to them directly, if they are old enough). They may not feel comfortable serving any baked goods not produced in their own nut-free (or dairy-free, or egg-free, etc.) kitchen. So, please ask them. They'll be happy to talk to you and grateful for your interest, I can almost guarantee.

Cross-Contact of Foods -- The Raw Chicken Analogy

If you are a household who uses a lot of whatever the allergic person is allergic to, cross-contact, also known as cross-contamination, can occur.

I know -- cross-contamination. Gross. That term sounds like we think you don't have a clean kitchen. Rest assured, the problem is not cleanliness, but rather the entire process of baking to make something safe for allergies is completely different from what you are probably used to.

The kitchens of people dealing with life-threatening food allergies are often free from the allergen completely, and that's to avoid the possibility of a trace amount of this allergen getting into the food. If not free from the allergen, we are keeping everything separate and even using different utensils, pans, cleaning gear -- the list is nearly endless. This is something that may have taken us months or years to learn how to do properly so I for one don't expect others to "get" it immediately.

Sadly, cross-contact with allergens can happen easily--too easily. The environment in which food is prepared is just as important as ingredients. So is the placement of the items once baked. Take a "nut-free" cookie baked in a "nut-free" facility and then put it on a bakery display next to hazelnut cake and peanut butter cups. Now the "nut-free" cookie is unsafe due to possible cross-contact.

Bake a plain vanilla cake in a small kitchen that just produced a peanut butter cupcake. The plain vanilla cake may be harboring peanut matter and is not "safe" for those with a nut allergy.

Cross-contact is the reason for food labels that say "may contain peanuts." It’s the reason for companies choosing to create and label foods "made in a nut-free facility." Cross-contact presents a real risk and ought not to be downplayed.

I've heard Chef Ming Tsai talk about his food allergy-friendly restaurant Blue Ginger and how he tells his chefs to treat any food allergens like they are "raw chicken." When dealing with raw chicken you change cutting boards and utensils and wash your hands frequently or risk salmonella. I think the Raw Chicken Analogy is as good as any I've ever heard. After all, everyone accepts that raw chicken can contaminate otherwise safe foods. The same goes for allergens--one slip up, the allergen is in the food and it is no longer safe for an allergic person to eat. And you -- or they -- might not even know it's in the food.

Can You Bake Safely for a Severely Allergic Person?

Obviously, this is a very individual answer and you will have to evaluate your personal situation. In general, though, this is not something you can do on the spur of the moment if you have a kitchen containing a lot of a particular food allergen. A "wash-down" may not do the trick.

It helps to think of food labels when you evaluate whether or not you want to take on "nut-free" baking in a kitchen that uses nut ingredients. You've probably seen a food label that says "processed on equipment that also manufacturers peanuts and tree nuts." People with severe nut allergies are advised by their doctors to avoid foods that are labeled this way, in order to avoid trace amounts of an allergen.

If you use peanut butter and other nut products like tree nuts, then your kitchen products would be labeled: "Processed on equipment that also processes peanuts and tree nuts." Companies label this way even if they do wash their equipment -- because human error is always a factor. Allergic people need to avoid these types of items from store bought foods, so of course the same holds true for homemade.

An exception would be that you are a close friend or family member of the allergic person, you are very used to dealing with it and your other family members are on board with keeping the kitchen area pristine during the process. This is not to say that you can't teach people how to bake and cook allergen-free, but it does take some planning, preparation and understanding of food allergens. If you want to do this and you are not that aware of how to go about it, I suggest talking to the person familiar with the allergy and going over the process with them, step by step. For example, I know that many of us have family who have learned to bake nut-free an cross-contact -free, so kudos to them.

Due to necessity, I trust very few individuals to produce nut-free food and that's not because I don't honor their good intentions, but rather, it's an issue of cross-contact risk.  If people refuse to eat something you've prepared for allergy reasons or to serve it to an allergic person, please don't take it personally. It's not about you, it's about health and staying out of harm's way. My e-book speaks to the issue of cross-contact and kitchen safety with regard to nut allergies, if you're interested in learning more.

If You Are the One with Allergies in the House

Maybe, to be able to guarantee your child a safe treat, you prefer to handle the baking. I've got several links for you to help you find some good ingredients and methods. Plus, check my Pinterest boards. I've been adding to the nut-free recipes under "Thanksgiving Foods", "Christmas Sweets (Nut-Free)" and "Holidays and Food Allergies." Plus, I just have a ton of recipes on my boards in general, so check them out. You can go directly to my Pinterest page by clicking on the "Pinterest button" to the right of this post. You can also find recipes on this blog by using the "search" tool in the upper right hand side of the blog. Use key word "recipe" to see what I've got posted here.

Please note: for any ingredients mentioned here, please ALWAYS check the labels. This is what I do, and I do stay on top of this as best I can, but things can change. Always check the label and if you want more information, call the company. What you use should always be up to your specific allergies (I deal with peanut/tree nut only) and your own comfort level. Thanks!

Now for the baking links from this blog:

Info about Libby's canned pumpkin and Carnation Milk (two seasonal favorites).

The Nut-Free Home Baker (this article features some of my favorite baking resources).

Vanilla Extract Questions: Answered

Thank you to everyone who is concerned about baking nut-free for their family or friends! For all of us who are doing a lot of the baking on our own to ensure safety, remember:

Happy Thanksgiving!!