Food Allergies: Teaching Your Child to Self-Advocate Pays Off

I wanted to share a story with you since I know that many of us worry about teaching our kids to handle their allergies on their own. When your little one is diagnosed with severe food allergies (usually this happens at a very young age)it can be difficult to imagine them ever managing it on their own.

From personal experience as well as what others share with me, I've found that teaching a child to manage the allergy should begin immediately. Obviously you don't want to scare a tiny child with too many details, but emphasizing "safe" and "unsafe" foods and teaching kids how and what to avoid is something you can do right away. Two really good resources for helping you to do this are the Beyond a Peanut flashcards and the young children's book "Ally the Allergic Elephant" by Nicole Smith (who I met recently, along with her awesome teen son, Morgan.)

My family used these resources as well as positive encouragement and reinforcement with my daughter from the time we knew of her allergy at age 4. Her own memory of her severe allergic reaction (that clued us into the fact that she had an allergy at all) certainly keeps her on track, but our family's consistency with regard to managing the allergy has also helped. Like many of you, I've often felt like a broken record, repeating myself over and over, but now that my daughter is 11 years old, she's taken over a lot of the ownership of her allergy management.

Case in point: This past weekend, my daughter attended a Taylor Swift concert with her cousins in Detroit. Since the concert was held at Ford Field (a football stadium) of course peanuts were being sold by vendors. Luckily, there weren't a lot of peanuts around her seating area, and it was nowhere near as "peanutty" as a baseball game, but she told me later that she was a little concerned.

Since we knew this would probably be an issue, she asked to eat before going to the concert and while there, only ordered a Coke. Let me tell you, she could have cared less about eating at the concert. It was her first "grownup" concert so it was all about Taylor Swift and the experience of seeing her.

What really impressed me was that she was careful to only order a "bottled" Coke from a vendor at a stationary location in the arena. Why? She noticed that the vendors selling food/drinks in the stands were serving peanuts as well as "open," already-poured drinks and she didn't want to risk the cross contact. This was something she spotted on her own and brought up without prompting. She was right to be concerned because the vendor-sold items did carry a risk that was better to avoid altogether. She also carried her own hand wipes and cleaned her hands--you can't have too many hand wipes when out and about with a food allergy.

Do I wish she didn't have to be so concerned? Of course. But this kind of proactive thinking (along with eating before the show) is what's going to keep her safe and healthy as she moves to even more independence. It wasn't a big deal to her--by now, it's just part of life and it doesn't faze her.

This is such a great point for a child to reach. It doesn't mean I don't worry anymore, but since I can see her making the right choices, I feel good about her doing things on her own.

For those of you who have very young kids facing food allergies, just keep playing the "cracked record" and one day, your kids will be telling you how they can stay safe.

And that's a huge point to reach, because let's face it: no one is going to be as concerned about food allergies as you are (or your kids are). They have to self-advocate and the sooner they learn, the better for everyone.

Food Allergy Reactions: Communicating the Symptoms to Young Children

Recently, some readers have asked for advice on describing allergic reactions to young kids. They also wanted to know how to teach young children how to describe it to them, the parent, or to other adults.

This is a great question, because with kids getting diagnosed at younger and younger ages, they may not remember their severe allergic reactions. Some kids are diagnosed nowadays without experiencing that severe allergic reaction, so they may not know how to tell if they are having one.

In our case, my daughter reacted at age 4 for the first time and it was sudden, violent and life-threatening. She remembers the exact feelings she had, to the point that she was able to detect herself having a reaction at school. She got help right away, was given Benadryl, I was called to school and she made a complete recovery. The reaction, thankfully, turned out to be mild. However, had she not gotten help right away, it very well could have escalated. You never know how severe an allergic reaction is going to be.

I give you our story to show you how important it is to teach kids how to recognize the symptoms and how also to tell you, their caregiver, grandparent or daycare worker that they may be having an allergic reaction.

If you can't see hives or facial swelling, that doesn't mean a reaction is not taking place or about to take place. Kids may complain of an itchy throat or tongue, or even a "sore" throat. They may tell you that the food they are eating just tastes "wrong" to them or "spicy" or "sour." They may spit out a food (that's good if they do) because of an allergen you may not know if present. For example, from a very young age, my daughter would spit out foods immediately that contained any peanuts or tree nuts. We just thought she was picky! I wish we had known better.

Kids may also describe tummy troubles--they may feel nauseous or like they have stomach cramps. Breathing difficulties may be described as "my chest feels funny."

Here is a great link to the FAAN website that lists several examples of what young kids might say if they are having an allergic reaction.

Teaching your child to describe an allergic reaction
If your young kids have verbal skills, they probably have their own way of describing to you when they feel ill. When my oldest was very young, she would tell us "There's a bug in my throat" when she felt sick in any way. This was because in the past she had heard one of us say "She caught a bug" and then she confused that with the expression "I have a frog in my throat."

Your kids might have similar sayings. Role play with them and discuss, using terms they will understand, (such as the ones I list or those listed in the FAAN link), how a reaction might feel. Discuss with them what they will do if they feel this way.

One thing to note is that some children will look for a place to go and be alone, such as the bathroom, if they are feeling ill. You don't want a child who is experiencing a reaction to be alone because the reaction can advance before you or anyone else finds them.

Stress to your child that if they feel any allergy symptoms, they should go find an adult immediately and tell them. Period. Practice this with them and you can even make a game out of it to make it feel less scary.

Visual images of food allergens and potential allergy situations are also helpful. Be sure to check out Beyond a Peanut educational flashcards, a perfect tool for young children.

It's never fun to have to teach your child about life-threatening allergic reactions but think of it as an investment in their future health and independence. As kids grow older, the number one line of defense against them having an allergic reaction is: themselves. Kids who learn what to do, what to avoid and how to get help will be more confident and a lot better prepared.

Also, if your child has food allergies and special needs, please check out this article that I wrote recently for the Chicago-based magazine, Special Parent. Kids with special needs may need different approaches.

Valentine's Day and Food Allergies: A Love Story and Book Giveaway!

Since it's Valentine's Day, it got me thinking about the things we do for love as food allergy parents. Sometimes the things we do are easy, like baking cookies for the class. (OK, sometimes not so easy, I'll grant you.) Or tagging along on our young child's play date, just to be sure they don't have an allergic reaction.

Other things aren't so easy. Anyone who's faced opposition about our child's allergies from the school, resistance from other parents or even family members can attest to that. It's very hard to single out your child and also single out yourself for what many people perceive as requests for "special treatment." It can also be difficult to explain our child's serious medical condition to other people without either coming across as "Debbie Downer" or as too glib. I find myself walking that tight rope constantly--I don't like to dwell on the negatives, but I have to do everything I can to make the people who care for my daughter understand how to help her stay healthy.

It's not easy to watch your child have a severe reaction, undergo uncomfortable medical tests or even be denied a sweet treat that "all the other kids are eating."

Sometimes we get angry when we're not taken seriously. Other times we doubt ourselves--are we doing too much, or not enough?

Not to get all sappy on you here, but if you are a parent who loves your child, you already have everything you need to get through the hard times of caring for a child with a severe food allergy. Love for our child is what keeps us going. A parent's love is the extra ingredient in everything we bake and do. Nothing can surpass it, so remember that the next time you're struggling, as we all do, with food allergy issues.

And speaking of love, here's some love for my wonderful blog readers, a book giveaway! Sloane Miller of the blog "Please Don't Pass the Nuts" will give away one copy of her upcoming book "Allergic Girl: Adventures in Living Well with Food Allergies" to one lucky Nut-Free Mom blog reader. As an adult living with food allergies, Sloane has been a big inspiration to me as I raise my daughter. She is awesome and this book will be, too!

All you have to do to get a chance to win your copy is to post your own food allergy love story in my comments box. It can be about something you've done for your child, something someone else has done, something loving you wish for the allergic person in your life, etc. As long as it's about love and food allergies, it counts! Keep posting your stories on The Nut-Free Mom blog all week for your chance to win. Good luck!

In the meantime, give the food-allergic person in your life an extra a hug and Happy Valentine's Day!