Welcome to The New Age: What We Should Expect From Schools and Managing Food Allergies in the Classroom

I've been dealing with food allergies at school since 2004 and while I do think there is much more awareness about allergies these days, it still seems as a lot of us are having problems managing allergies at school.

Some parents tell me that they are not being listened to or respected with regards to life-threatening food allergies, even though they have followed the school's rules, i.e., filled out the paperwork, visited the allergist, met with the school staff and the myriad other tasks that go along with managing food allergies in daily life.

Just to be clear:  when I say "respected" I simply mean acknowledging that the allergy is real and that certain reasonable, necessary accommodations may be required. The unfortunate facts are that food allergies can be life-threatening and some classroom practices might require a little adaptation. What is troubling is that some parents are being called upon to frequently justify their child's allergies despite the fact that they've provided medical documentation, doctor's notes, etc.

If you're a parent feeling drained or frustrated by allergy management at school, don't feel alone because it takes effort to make things go smoothly -- sometimes a lot of effort.  Lately, I've been wondering: does it have quite so intensely difficult, with parents needing to be "pioneers" each year? After all, food allergies are not a brand-new problem.

I don't have all the answers but I, along with my daughter, have been managing allergies at school for more than 10 years. We've always tried to work with the school and usually we have been successful -- though not without struggle at times. With the era of food allergy awareness definitely upon us, I think we can have the following reasonable expectations. To me, these are the basics:

1. To be taken seriously if you have provided the appropriate medical documentation for the allergy.

2. To be treated with respect by school staff if you have concerns about your allergic student. If the person you're dealing with doesn't have the answers, they should be ready and willing to send you to the person who does.

3. To be prepared as parents to offer reminders or to engage in follow-up discussions, but not forced to re-invent the wheel and start at point A each time there is a new class party or field trip on the horizon. Having to re-open our child's health issues each time an event comes up is not only frustrating, it's dangerous as all of the major questions and concerns should have been settled at the beginning of the school year (of course you may always have to tweak things and make adjustments but a basic plan should be in place that doesn't deviate.)

4. To be ready to offer our assistance in educating others about allergies, with the understanding that many of us are new at this and are still educating ourselves. At this point in our collective experience, we should expect schools to be providing all staff with some food allergy education beyond just the basic epinephrine usage training that many of them receive -- a great thing, but only one part of the puzzle. Some basic discussion on cross-contact and allergen avoidance is equally important.

5. To prepare our child as best as we can according to their age and level of development with the knowledge that if something goes wrong despite our best efforts and our child's best efforts, (accidents happen, mistakes can be made) that the school knows what to do in an emergency and will actually do it.

While I am a huge advocate of parental support and teaching kids self-advocacy, the fact is that when kids cross the threshold to school, the school has a responsibility to them, just as it does to all students. It isn't just one or two students with allergies any more and sadly, the numbers continue to grow. In addition, schools are accommodating many types of special needs and food allergies are under that umbrella, so don't let anyone tell you that "no one" has any of the same issues as you. Unfortunately, they probably do.

You might also like these posts from The Nut-Free Mom blog:

Planning for the School Year with Food Allergies

Working Around Food Allergies at Class Parties

Teaching Kids to Manage their Nut Allergies

For a crash course in managing your child's life-threatening nut allergies (including communication tips and lots of emotional support), click this link.

Note: I'm a parent just like you sharing my experiences. If you have any medical or legal questions, please consult the appropriate medical or legal resources. Thank you!

Nut-Free Recipes and Tips for Super Bowl Sunday

My Mexican meatball soup...perfect for game day or any day.

Hi everyone, I realize that this is last minute, but I hope you'll still find use for these Super Bowl-centric recipes and party tips. In fact, a lot of these recipes would be good any weekend, so check them out! 

Since many of us attend parties over this football weekend, we have to find a way to safely deal with life-threatening food allergies. To help you navigate, I've also shared some party-going tips that have worked for me.

First off, I'm sharing two previous posts with crowd-pleasing recipes for any gathering or game day. Nut-Free Recipes for Super Bowl Sunday and a link to some yummy, creative recipes from the SunButter website, perfect for Super Bowl weekend. And check out this new one posted by SunButter: football shaped chocolate cookies.

For all of my readers who are also Pinners on Pinterest (and those of you who aren't I hope you'll check it out), I've got three links to two of my most popular Pinterest boards: Comfort Food Recipes,  Crock Pot and Nut-Free Recipes (Misc.). I've been collecting some really heart-warming and delicious recipes, both from my blog and other sources, that are either nut-free or easy to make that way. (And I give suggestions on how to do this right on the Pin.)

Partying with Food Allergies: 4 of my best tips:

1. Adopt an upbeat tone and be proactive. Simply saying something like: "Hey, thanks for inviting us to your party! We are very excited to attend. I just need to ask about the menu. My son has severe peanut allergies, so we're happy to bring our own food. We just wanted to know if there are any things we have to watch out for." There. Right away, you've taken the pressure off of the other person and opened the door to communication. In these cases, once I explain our situation, some people have even removed items from the menu. But if you don't communicate about allergies in advance and stay proactive, sometimes people feel guilty for having the allergen around the house and even resentful that you've put them in an uncomfortable position. That's not good from both your standpoint and theirs, as party hosts. Usually hosts want guests to feel comfortable so ask questions, make your concerns known in an friendly way and everybody wins. Or, at the very least, you know what you are dealing with.

2. Tailor your explanation to the person you are speaking with. For example, you will probably want to share every last medical detail of a recent allergic reaction with your child's grandparents because they are deeply invested in your child's health and because they are family members. However, if you're talking to an acquaintance about the neighborhood block party, for example, they probably don't want to hear all of that. So a simple: "My child is highly allergic to nuts and has experienced severe allergic reactions. Can we skip the peanut bags this year at the block party--all that dust and stuff blowing around can be hazardous to her health," will probably suffice. 

3. Keep it simple. I touched on this above, but if you veer off into the latest medical news on food allergies or have someone suck you into topics that aren't relevant to the matter at hand, i.e. keeping an allergic person reaction-free, you risk losing your message. It doesn't matter what the latest food allergy news is if all you're talking about is how to keep your child out of harm's way. I'm not saying to blow off someone who is just trying to make conversation, but if they want to get into a deep discussion about how your child got allergies, what you fed them as a baby, etc. you are going to get sidetracked. Try to shift them back to the matters at hand, e.g. "Can you make sure my little guy washes his hands before snack time after playing with shared toys? Thanks for your help."

4. Be prepared to alter your plans.  Some of us may have experienced the following: "I communicated my socks off in an appropriate way with my hosts, they told me not to worry, they had it covered and they STILL had bowls of peanuts all over the house." What do you do? Well, in this case, you are going to have to keep calm but be firm. You can say "I know we talked on the phone and you said you wouldn't serve peanuts. My little girl is too allergic to be around so many so would you mind removing them?" If they say no, you  can choose to leave but don't be tempted to get into a blowout argument at that time. If this is a close friend or family member, it's better to call them a few days later and talk it out.

Communicating effectively with others is always a challenge in our fast-paced, phone-texting, e-mailing society. So keep that in mind, keep it simple and then get out and enjoy the things you want to do.

Note to my readers: I've been keeping up with the blog as much as possible while I work on deadlines for different writing projects, so even though I try to update the blog once a week, I don't always succeed. :) However, The Nut-Free Mom blog has more than 630 posts! So please use the search bar in the upper left hand corner of this blog and use key words to find posts on a multitude of current "living with nut allergies" topics. 

You  can also find compassionate, concise information on parenting a child with nut allergies in my e-book, The New Nut-Free Mom, available on Amazon, Nook and downloadable to your iPad or computer. Click this link for information on how to buy, or if you have a Kindle, click the button on the right side bar of this blog.

Valentine's Day!

I'll be adding a Valentine's Day post soon, but in the meantime, click the Valentine images on the right sidebar to find online and supermarket resources of nut-free Valentine's Day goodness. Plus, I have a nut-free Valentine's Day Pinterest board with crafts, nut-free recipes and non-food treats.

Happy Game Day!

Nut-Free Summer 2013: A Roundup of Food Allergy Posts for a Fun, Safe Summer

 

Homemade ice cream break with my youngest. See below (and search the blog)
 for nut-free frozen treat recipes.

Summer is in full swing by now. Most of us have kids out of school and things like parties, road trips and seasonal treats like ice cream and barbecues are on the horizon.

I have written quite a bit about summer with food allergies, so I thought I would share some of my favorite and most useful summer blog posts for those who haven't seen them. For those who have, I hope these will serve as helpful reminders.

Going to a summer party or barbecue? Check out these tips.

Are you scheduling a road trip to visit family or friends? Here's some advice on travel with food allergies.

Sending a child to camp or thinking about it? Here is our day camp story, plus a link to the transcript of a talk I co-hosted on The Motherhood dealing with camp, sleepovers and play dates.

Looking for homemade ice cream? Here is a recipe for nut-free, egg-free basic vanilla. Making ice cream and frozen treats is a fun and easy summer project on a rainy day or for “bored” kiddos.

If you’re concerned about nut allergies and sunscreen, here is a popular post discussing some options. The comments box below this post has great suggestions from readers, too.

And for anyone looking for an overall approach to living the nut-free life, check out my e-book guide for parents and caregivers of kids with life-threatening nut allergies. Grandparents, family members and teachers find it helpful, too.  As always, I appreciate the great feedback I've received from readers of my book. Thank you!

 

Food Allergies and Mother's Day: Here's to You, Moms

Yes, that's pretty much what I do.

I ran this post a couple of years ago and I realized that this is a message I'd like to repeat for those who haven't seen it yet -- I can't really say it any better. It all still holds true.  A very happy Mother's Day to you all! I hope that you all know you're not alone in your struggles and concerns. Thanks to all of you for all of the support and positive feedback over the years, too.

Mother's Day is almost here and I want to give a special thanks and recognition to all the mothers out there and especially to those of you dealing with food allergies. Of course dads, grandparents and family members care too, but I know that mothers take the brunt of a lot of the day-to-day stuff with food allergies.

This year you probably:

Met with school staff or other caregivers about your child's food allergy
Worried when your child went out without you
Were nervous serving your child food in a restaurant
Stayed up late baking cupcakes for a class party
Showed several people how to use an epinephrine auto-injector (including maybe even your child)
Researched the Internet about food allergies for hours
Had a real food allergy "scare" or a false alarm (incidentally, both cause gray hair equally)
Were a regular at the pharmacy
Took your child for allergy testing
Filled out endless paperwork so that your food-allergic child could attend a camp, participate in a sport or other activity
Did I say stayed up late baking cupcakes???

I could go on an on. The bottom line, Moms, is to be proud of all you've done for your child this year. Being a mother is not for the faint of heart, as my pediatrician told me when my daughter was just a  baby. That goes double if your child has any type of chronic medical condition. In fact, it's important to take care of ourselves as we also take care of our kids, something I cover in my e-book.

Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of celebration for mothers--not necessarily a day of complete rest, though that is nice. But food allergies don't take a break, so I bet a lot of you--like me--will be baking and/or cooking for Mother's Day. I'm baking a coffee cake to bring to a brunch. My kids LOVE this cake and I am happy to make it for them. Nothing is better than being to serve my allergic daughter something that she can eat along with everyone else. I'm not officially "off duty" and that's OK. Are we ever really off duty as parents? As one of my favorite writers, Nora Ephron, said in one of her essays about being a parent: "The worry is forever."

Mother's Day is a great time to reflect on how close your child's allergies may have made you and your child. This may seem like a strange silver lining, but I'll leave you with this. The other night, my daughter and I were watching Top Chef Masters and they were doing a wedding. One of the tasks was making a wedding cake. She turned to me and said "Mom, will you make my wedding cake? Then I know it will be delicious AND safe for me."

She trusts me. She knows I can bake good cakes. She knows she can count on me. That's what Mother's Day means to me. After I got done swallowing the big lump in my throat I told her I'd be honored.

Happy Mother's Day!

Food Allergies and Allergic Teens: Taking the Next Big Step

Happy Birthday, dear Alex.

Today my daughter is a teenager! And while turning 13 is exciting and fun on many levels for her and for us, it also represents for me, at least, a new phase for our family. Food allergy management is no longer just the domain of parents or other adults; kids now step into a leadership role.

Our daughter was diagnosed with life-threatening nut allergies 9 years ago; it's hard to believe it's been that long. We've all learned a lot and grown a lot. No matter how old she gets, of course I will always be there for my daughter if she needs me. I'm always willing to advocate for her if she needs the help, which she will need, for awhile. However, more and more I'm seeing that it's time for me to begin to trust her, offer her the opportunity to self-advocate and make good decisions. This is what she will need to do the rest of her life and frankly, I've always had an eye on this fact. All through her childhood we've encouraged her to self-advocate and learn to self-manage. Now the real test begins, because she will need to do this for herself more and more frequently.

For parents of younger kids who are not yet in my shoes, let me tell you that it does give me a lot of hope and a feeling of security to know that I have taught her as well as I can. Whatever you are doing now to support and teach your child, it will give you more peace of mind when they get older and manage things on their own. I trust my daughter; she's given me no reason not to. But let's face it--kids are kids. They make mistakes. Teens are famous for pushing the envelope; in a way, it's their job to do that.

My daughter's pink "Groovy Girl" b-day cake when she was in kindergarten.
Yep, that seems like yesterday.

The goal is an independent, self-sufficient teen and young adult who can confidently manage their food allergies. But life isn't perfect and neither are we. How do we go forward and help kids get through the teen phase, safely, and healthy in both body and spirit with regard to life-threatening food allergies?

For me, a lot of unknowns still exist. We have a long way to go. But I feel confident (most of the time!) that my daughter can manage her allergies in just about any situation because we have done a lot of work together to get to that point.

A few things I can suggest that have helped me in this effort:

Try to stay positive about handling food allergies. Yes, food allergies rocked our daughter's world and occasionally prevented her from certain activities (ice cream shops, bakery birthday cakes, school treats) but we always focused on the positive as much as possible. Everyone has a challenge in life or multiple challenges; that's life. This is just one of them. If you approach food allergies with an attitude of  "you can handle this" I do believe it helps kids get through some potentially difficult situations.

Offer unconditional, calm support. Suppose your child makes a mistake about what to eat or is struggling with managing the allergy at school. Even if you are so upset (at the school, your child, another child) try not to freak out on this subject, at least in front of your child. They need to feel like they can share with you and so, be calm and offer solutions. If you need to vent, talk to your spouse or a friend. Some kids might feel like they don't want to burden you, so if you get really upset, they won't tell you what's up. And you don't want that. It's good to remember the motto: "Keep Calm and Carry On."

Give kids ownership of the allergy right from the beginning. Starting when they are young, have them be the one to remember to pack the epinephrine (of course, you'll double-check, but let them initiate), speak up in a restaurant or to a friend. We have always encouraged our daughter to do this and it's second nature to her now. I remember my daughter's kindergarten teacher telling me that my daughter always asked about foods, would say "no" to certain things and generally advocate for herself. Start young and it will pay off later. It also helps kids to feel more empowered and less shy when they can do this.

Be honest. This is life or death stuff, so you have to be honest about concerns and food allergy management requirements. In turn, kids should be able to feel comfortable sharing their feelings, good or bad, about food allergy management.

Remember that you are not your kid. If you don't have any food allergies yourself, you may not understand everything that your child is going through. Listen to them and sympathize and acknowledge that they may be experiencing things unknown to you. They will respect you and trust you for admitting that.

I'm not going to tell you I'm never scared about sending my daughter out there with allergies or that I don't have anxiety about certain things.  All I can do is trust that I have done what I can do and that I will continue to be a resource for her.

For more information on teens and food allergies, click the link for a great article on management and coping.

And visit Anaphylaxis Canada and the FARE web site for specific teen info. Allergic Living magazine has a lot of good information, too.

New Year Food Allergy Checklist -- Are You Ready?

Taking care of food allergy concerns early in the year
will prepare you for any upcoming events.

Since the kids are back in school and the holiday rush is over, now is a good time to take stock of how things are going with our kids and their food allergies. It is the beginning of a brand new year, so new activities may be on the horizon. It is also mid-year for those of us with school-aged kids and so some adjustments may have to be made.

(Also, since I feel the rush of organization coming over me as we embark upon a brand new year, I thought I would share this over-caffeinated sense of goodwill with all of you. :))

Here are some things to review as we begin 2013:

-Prescriptions. Are they up to date? Do you need any new epinephrine auto-injectors or updated medical forms for sports, school, or clubs? (We do--for all of the above.) Make a plan to get this taken care of in the next couple of weeks and you’ll thank yourself later when you’re not rushing around, trying to get in touch with the doctor and beating deadlines for registrations.

- Allergy appointments. For those of you who deal with seasonal or annual allergy appointments, it pays to make those appointments now, because in the spring most doctors are chock-full of people coping with seasonal allergies. You don't want to have to wait!

- Review emergency procedures/food restrictions. By now, most public schools in the U.S. have trained staff to handle food allergy reactions, but it doesn't hurt to review this with your child's teacher as the second half of the school year begins. Also, if your child is in daycare, don't forget to review with your child's caregivers. Staff changes at centers may have occurred, too, or maybe your school-aged child is enrolled in a new activity. Now is a good time to go over emergency medication usage, restricted foods and any other areas of concern.

- Check your calendar for any upcoming events that may present food risk. Travel, school parties and field trips are all things that can present food allergy challenges. Review your family's schedule and your child's school calendar so you can tackle these issues in advance. Then you can be ready with treats, doctor's notes or "safe" restaurant choices when the time comes.

The Latest Food Allergy News: Teasing, Bullying and What to Do About It

Stories on food allergy bullying starting making the rounds of the major news outlets over the holiday, and recently the journal Pediatrics released a study regarding food allergy bullying and its potential to impact the lives of kids with food allergies, and their families. Here is the link to that story.

Bullying is very serious and many kids have to cope with it, not just those with food allergies. What makes food allergy bullying especially dangerous is that some kids use food in aggression against other kids, and that can be hazardous to their health and might even endanger their lives. For example, pushing a peanut butter sandwich in an allergic child's face or threatening to do so.

Obviously, any bullying that turns physical must be dealt with immediately and stopped. Stop Bullying is a website that addresses bullying on every level including how schools can work to prevent bullying, what kids can do to stop bullying and signs that your child is being bullied. Many schools have a no tolerance for bullying policy. This should definitely include food allergies so if you have concerns, don’t hesitate to speak with school officials. Stop Bullying's site has guidelines for working with your school.

According to the Pediatrics article, about half of kids do not report the bullying, so you will want to watch your child for signs that they might be having a problem. The Stop Bullying site offers a list of possible symptoms that your child is being bullied. (Not every kid with these symptoms is being bullied, but the list offers a good place to start and can spark discussion with your child.)

The fear of being bullied or teased makes some parents and kids afraid to reveal the allergy to anyone. To me that is a very unfortunate side effect because it has been proven that food allergy awareness helps in an emergency and can save a life. If a kid feels ashamed of their allergies, ironically, that may make them more likely to be bullied.  Plus, kids ashamed of their allergies might not want to speak up, advocate for themselves or carry life-saving medications. Better to anticipate this and help your child work through their feelings and role play some responses if they find themselves in a situation where they are bullied.

Teasing and unkind comments are another story. Not all kids with food allergies will be bullied physically, but I would hazard to guess that many kids with food allergies are subjected to verbal remarks, teasing and sometimes unkind comments. I wrote about post about teasing and food allergies that you can read by clicking here. (Food allergy-friendly company and friends, Tasterie, shared my past post on their own blog today, so thanks for spreading the word, Tasterie!)

Teasing and taunting is upsetting and of course, it can always escalate into physical bullying, so I really like Stop Bullying’s suggestions to help parents stop bullying before it can really even get started. A confident, prepared kid will be able to help stop bullying too.

What is your experience with teasing or bullying? What did you do about it?

Food Allergy News: FARE Day Fundraiser, December 14th, on Peanut Free Planet!!!

Just in time for your nut-free holiday treats, it's FARE Day on Peanut Free Planet.

Today you can support the leading food allergy advocacy group, FARE, (the new organization formed by the merger of FAAN (The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network) and FAI (Food Allergy Initiative),  by participating in Peanut Free Planet's FARE fundraising day.




Click this link for more details: http://www.peanutfreeplanet.com/Support_FARE_Day_s/358.htm

Today, December 14th, 5% of the proceeds from your purchase will support FARE. Plus, everyone who orders today will receive a goody bag with a selection of delicious allergy-friendly items from some of the event's sponsors. Participating companies below!

 

Peanut Free Planet is a wonderful source of one-stop shopping for nut-free foods. Many of my favorites like Surf Sweets and Vermont Nut-Free Chocolates are found there, too! Check out PFP today and you'll be amazed at what you can find!

 

Here's how to participate: Simply visit Peanut Free Planet today and order! 5% of your order will be automatically donated to FARE and you'll get your goody bag. So you'll be doing good simply by ordering great nut-free food. 'Tis the season, so head over there now!

 

Thanks to Peanut Free Planet for hosting this event today and FARE for their continued commitment to food allergy education, advocacy and research! I'm proud to be a media sponsor of FARE Day, along with the following media sources:

 

 

Nut Allergy News: Nutphree's Cupcakes Sponsoring Chicago-Area Cupcake Giveaway!

Chicago readers: You could win a dozen of these delish cupcakes from Nutphree's Bakery.

Chicago-area readers: this one's for you. I have a special giveaway this week, provided by the one and only Nutphree's Cupcakes in Mount Prospect, IL.

This is a wonderful family-owned and operated bakery featuring peanut-free and tree nut-free cupcakes that are beautiful and delicious. Nutphree's Cupcakes storefront recently opened to much excitement in Chicago as they are the only nut-free cupcake bakery in the area that is a dedicated nut-free facility.

To show their appreciation to  Chicago-area Nut-Free Mom readers and to their loyal customers, Nutphree's is offering one dozen cupcakes plus delivery  to one lucky winner. This is a $45 value!!!!The only thing: you've got to live within an approximately 20-25 mile radius of their Mount Prospect bakery in order to be eligible to win.

While my giveaways are normally tailored to all readers, this one is very special because as the only nut-free cupcake bakery in Chicago with a dedicated nut-free facility, Nutphree's really stands out in my city. Don't worry if you aren't eligible for this giveaway--I'll  have more giveaways in the future!

Please note: these cupcakes are nut-free (peanut and tree nut) only.

To enter the random drawing for the Nut-Free Mom and Nutphree's cupcake giveaway, please go to Nutphree's Facebook and Twitter pages and follow and/or "like" them. Then, post a comment on this blog post giving your first name and initial, as well as your location. For example, Kerri P., Park Ridge, IL

What a great way to ring in the holidays--nut-free cupcakes. FREE nut-free cupcakes.

However, if you don't win and you live in the area, be sure to check them out either online or at their storefront. http://www.nutphrees.com

The winner will be announced this Wednesday right here on the blog! So check back then and see if you've got a dozen cupcakes coming your way.

I will also post the name of the winner on Facebook and Twitter. If the winner does not respond in 48 hours, the prize will go to another random winner. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding!




Nutphree's Mount Prospect storefront. Have you been there?

Good luck to you all and thanks again to Nutphree's and the Walker family for your generosity!



Food Allergy Post-Thanksgiving Wrap Up: Coping with Family and Food Allergies

With Thanksgiving behind us, now is a good time to review how things went so that we can anticipate the winter holidays and how to safely participate in family events. Family gatherings can be stressful for those with food allergies as well as for those hosting our families.

It's a rare food allergy family that faces smooth sailing with regard to holiday gatherings involving food, at least at first. Most of us have run into difficulties at one time or another. Common scenarios include: being "uninvited" from a family dinner due to food allergies, lack of understanding from family members about hosting people with severe food allergies (they feel like a kid with food allergies is too fragile to be around) and isolation due to family members not understanding the real dangers that food allergies present, forcing us to stay away from the gathering.

Even though I will always try to find a positive solution that involves inclusion with family, I know  this approach doesn't always work. Not everyone is going to be willing or able to cope with our kids who have food allergies. If that happens, we do the best we can, either by hosting meals ourselves or by opting out of certain food-focused events and finding other ways to connect with family.

However, I feel like some of the problems we encounter can be either minimized or avoided with some open discussion. What is at the heart of someone telling you not to come to their house for a holiday meal, because it's "not safe?" Ask yourself: are you giving a message that the responsibility for the safety of your child is not your responsibility? Or are other people simply interpreting it that way? Take a look at what you're saying to each other and how you're saying it.

Sometimes people hear one thing when we say another. I'm no relationship expert, but when it comes to food allergies and family relationships, many times there is something going on between the lines that has nothing to do with what is being discussed.

Fear is a factor. While we want compassion for our situation at the holidays, we need to feel equal compassion for those who don't live with food allergies each day. It's a long process of education, so if you feel like you haven't been treated very well this year, give it time. Have a talk with your family members who handle the food. What can you do to help?

For example, even though I've dealt with food allergies for years, if you told me to host a dairy-free Thanksgiving, I'd be fearful of cross-contamination and ingredients because I don't shop, cook or deal with dairy allergies each day.

Looking at this way, I  can see how others might be afraid and have a lot of  questions. If family  are open to talking about it, try to have a calm discussion about what the problem is with making the holiday allergy-friendly.

Here are some things you might want to discuss:

What do you think it means when we ask you if the meal can be allergy-friendly? Do you interpret that as the entire meal is available to the allergic diner, or just part of it? Can we work out a compromise that will be OK with both of us?
This isn't about treading on tradition, it's about wanting to participate in a family event. Take the other person's suggestions and feelings into account regarding food. They might not understand that you view food differently than they do. For those with food allergies, food isn't a fun, happy tradition if it contains an allergen. It's a threat to health and well-being. It has nothing to do with them, personally. Many people don't understand this and feel like you're "ruining" their meal if you request, say, no Chex mix with peanuts on the table.

How can I help with this meal? Would you feel better if I brought my own food? Would you be offended? Why? Be sure to explain that you love this person and their cooking, but that food allergies are a medical condition and not a food preference, so they require appropriate caution. Just like diabetics, those with food allergies have certain foods they must avoid or they will face a medical emergency.

What can we, the family dealing with food allergies, do to make this easier? Do you want us to host an event over the holidays? If others host, can we collaborate on the menu? If not, why not? One of the most difficult things to get across is that you don't want to be in control of the food just for the sake of being in control. You might have to repeat this point, often. This is NOT about control. It's about health and safety. You aren't asking for things just to be difficult, you're asking because you have to ask.

Ask your family member (s): Do you think a child with severe food allergies is too fragile to even enter your home because your kids eat peanut butter or tree nut products like granola bars? What can we do to make this work? Can I help wipe down the toys? Right before we come over, can your kids wash their hands? Just having this discussion is a huge help because some people are so freaked out at the thought of a child having a reaction in their home, that they don't even want them in the house. If this attitude persists, so be it, but at least talk about how to minimize exposure or reactions.

And remember, you can always host people if they just don't feel comfortable. Never try to force or "guilt" someone into an invite. A food allergy education can help, but if someone is saying "no"even after they have the facts and you feel like they understand the issues, then you have to go with that. It's about health and safety.

None of these issues are easy, but talk to your family. Don't sit in isolation and wish things were better if you think there is any chance that others will work with you to find safe solutions. Bring your own food if that's the safest option or host parties on your own. It all comes down to your individual situation, but at least be open to a discussion and ask others to be open. If you don't try, you won't know.

In the coming weeks, I will be co-hosting a live chat on this topic. More details on that in future posts and on FB and Twitter, so stay tuned!

What about you? Have you had these discussions? How did it go? Have you made headway or are you at a stalemate?

My e-book talks about educating others, finding safe foods, keeping your cool and living a happy life with severe allergies. It's on sale for the holidays and many readers have told me they've shared it with grandparents and other family members. http://nut-freemom.blogspot.com/p/my-e-book-new-nut-free-mom-now-available.html Click the link to find out how to get it.

Nut Allergy at School: A Sample Note from the Teacher

In my experience with elementary school, it's a good idea to let the parents of your child's classmates know about food allergies in the classroom. This not only helps reduce the incidence of unwanted and allergenic foods making their way into the classroom for parties and other events, but it also gives parents an idea of why this is happening and why the policy was instituted. The more the school backs you up on this, the better. Plus, some kids' Individual Health Plans or 504 Plans include a policy of reducing  or eliminating certain foods in the classroom.

 

Some teachers like to issue a letter at the start of the school year. Others may issue reminder notes before class parties or events. Our daughter's elementary school teachers have done this and it's been very helpful.

The note does not have to be long or filled with medical detail. Keep it informative, but also short, sweet and to the point. Notes don't solve everything, and I know parents get a lot of notes sent home that they disregard. But the benefit of the teacher issuing a note shows parents that this is policy and just part of the class rules.

Here is a sample note from the teacher alerting classmates’ parents to the presence of nut allergies in the classroom. Despite the fact that most elementary schools in the U.S. are not nut-free throughout the school, many classrooms strive to be nut-free in order to reduce additional risk from foods. This letter reflects that type of policy.

 

For every teacher who helps keep our kids safe and healthy during the school day, THANK YOU!

 

Sample Note to Parents from Your Child’s Teacher

Dear Parents,

This year we have students in our 4th grade class with severe allergies to peanuts and/or tree nuts. Because of the seriousness of this allergy, we are asking you to refrain from sending peanut or tree nut products to school for snacks or class parties. 

Your child is still able to eat what they like in the lunch room, where a peanut-free table will be available for allergic students or students who have not brought nut products with them that day. However, due to shared computer equipment and art supplies in the classroom, as well as the ease with which food residue is transferred from one student to the other, we would like to keep our classroom “nut-free.” 

Our goal is to make school a safe place for all of our students. We appreciate your cooperation and understanding. If you have any questions, please contact (your child’s teacher). For a great source of food allergy information, visit www.faiusa.org.

Sincerely,

Your Teacher’s Name

 

What about your school? Do they issue a note or reminders about not bringing in certain foods?

Back to School with Food Allergies: Resources for Educating Others

Many of us are heading back to school with food allergies and are looking for easy ways to educate others about what food allergies are and how to manage them. The following video, hosted by Dr. Scott Sicherer, a leading allergist and researcher at Mt. Sinai hospital and the Jaffe Food Allergy Institute, was sent to me by Nut-Free Mom reader Kelly O. She uses the video for teaching relatives and her child's teachers all about food allergies-- this short video is really useful, clear and informative. Thanks again, Kelly!



Another great resource for school  is this free downloadable tutorial offered by FAAN, The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network. Allergy Ready (TM) is tailored to helping schools learn about food allergy and how to reduce risk of reaction; it also teaches emergency procedures. Forward it to your district nurse, school health aide, child's teacher or anyone who needs concise and accurate information on managing food allergies at school.

Are you a parent of a child newly diagnosed with nut allergies (peanut or tree nut?) My short e-book offers a guide to navigating the parenting challenges that go hand in hand with this condition. It also includes advice on educating others, including teachers, family and friends, all in a concise and easy-to-use format. Click here to learn more!

School presents challenges, no doubt about it, but educating others about food allergies goes a long way in getting everyone up to speed.

For more Nut-Free Mom articles on food allergies and school, click here.

Food Allergies and The Fourth of July! Safety Tips plus 3 Great Allergy-Friendly Food Resources!

While there is a lot of fun to be had at any holiday, holidays can increase food allergy risk. So the best defense is a good offense. Be prepared!

To help you enjoy a wonderful Fourth of July weekend, I'm sharing an information-packed post I wrote about the Fourth last year.

I also want to share a grill tip. If you are at a public park or somewhere where shared grills are in use, use some heavy duty aluminum foil on the grill to protect it from cross-contact with allergens left behind. The biggest "shared grill" culprit for nut allergies would be marinades (which may contain peanut oil, other tree nut oils, peanut butter, etc.), so when you place the foil on the grill before cooking, you protect your child's food from anything that may have been cooked on it before. Simple to do and an extra step to minimize risk--always a good thing!

Check the inside of the grill before cooking, too; I've seen peanut shells at the bottom of grills.

If you are going on a road trip, check out this post and also consider taking along some safe prepared treats. I'm happy to tell you about three of my favorites, who also happen to be sponsors of this site.

Sweet Alexis nut-free, egg-free, dairy-free bakery. Order fresh cookies, banana bread and so much more from this amazing bakery that is preservative-free and deliciously wholesome. You won't know anything is "missing" from these truly wonderful treats.

Take a minute and vote for Sweet Alexis by clicking this link. They can win a grant that will allow them to expand their business--and we all need businesses like these. Thank you!

Skeeter Snacks nut-free treats. These new nut-free treats come in convenient packs of two with three flavors: Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal and Skeeterdoodle (you know, those old-fashioned Snickerdoodle cookies, with cinnamon).  These are peanut and tree nut-free ONLY, a nice option if you have only nut allergy concerns. The cookies are crisp, yummy andfresh-tasting and were a hit with all of us at home. This business is run by two food allergy dads who wanted to offer their allergic kids a safe snack. Visit the web site to find out more.

Tasterie. Are you traveling? Order a box from Tasterie to take along on the road. Tasterie boxes are custom-made to fit your specific allergies, plus orders are geared towards healthful eating. This service was created by a physician with the assistance of a nutrionist; click the link to learn more. Check out the coupon code on their ad--you can save 10% off of your order.

One more thing; I just contributed a "Road Trip" food article to the current summer issue of Allergic Living magazine with lots of great allergy-friendly treats you may not even know about. Order your copy by visiting their web site.

I wish you all a safe, healthy and happy holiday with your families and friends!