Food Allergy News: Helping Kids and Teens Accept Their Food Allergies

Kenton Duty of Disney's "Shake It Up" (if you have tweens in the house, you probably know this show) is a teen ambassador for FAAN who helped create a video that talks to kids about coping with food allergies.

Click the image above and be sure to show this to your kids! Kenton does a great job of being matter-of-fact about food allergies and in discussing the ways he must cope with them. He talks about medication, communication with others, LISTENING TO YOUR PARENTS...woot! and more. He is so articulate and your kids probably already know him, so they can relate to him as a peer. At 17 years old, he is much cooler to listen to than we parents can be, at times. I know -- painful but true.

One reason that I wanted to post this Kenton Duty video (incidentally, sent to me by Eleanor Garrow of FAAN, so thanks to her and FAAN for their outreach efforts) is because I know how many of us struggle with the emotional aspects of allergies as our kids come to terms with them.

I was reminded of how painful it can be when a mom e-mailed me and asked for advice regarding her 8-year-old daughter who was struggling socially and feeling left out due to her food allergies. I'm sure all of our kids have had this experience at one time or another and it stinks. Sometimes people might feel like our kids are too fragile or too much trouble to have around. This hurts. We can't change our approach to food allergy safety because someone else might not like it, so occasionally a "friendship" might fizzle. I can tell you that the true friends stick around and I've been amazed at the level of compassion some children can have.

I am not a psychologist, but I am an amateur one since I am parent. Just kidding, but you know that we get called upon to counsel our kids about so many things, including food allergies. I've found that it helps when we, the parent, don't get all excited and agitated with each incidence of unsafe food or a perception of being passed over for a party or activity. At least not in front of your child. In private, vent all you want!

It also helps to commiserate with your child about the unfairness of not being able to eat a piece of birthday cake or having to turn in their Halloween candy, but try not to dwell on this with your kids. Validate them but be sure to show them how something else in their life is positive. Every child has something positive about themselves to celebrate. Are they a good dancer? A great soccer goalie? Do they tell funny jokes? Are they a good and loyal friend? Do they look out for their younger brother or sister? Do they have a great smile?

I always told my daughter that food allergies are just one thing that make up who a person is, like having brown eyes. It's not everything. And the other thing that has helped is to tell her that everyone has some challenge in life. Even if you don't see it, it's there.

Here was the advice I gave to the mother of the 8-year-old girl. Maybe it will help you, too:

"I spoke to my daughter (who is 12) about how she coped at your daughter's age and she gave me some insights. She told me that usually she had the "better" birthday treats and things whenever I sent her with her own food, so kids usually told her they wished they could have what she was having! That helped soften the blow of not getting to have the cake or whatever she couldn't eat.

As you rightly point out, kids can have some struggles socially if they feel like they are being excluded because of allergies, so one way I helped to combat this was to make sure I offered my house as a play date haven whenever possible. This way, my daughter didn't feel left out as much and I could make sure things were safe. I also sent food to all of the school parties and the kids eventually got excited because they knew I would send something good! It is a lot of work on our end, no question, but I found that this did help my daughter in social situations.

Our family has found that involving kids in managing their allergies will help make them more independent so that they can go to that party of sleepover because you know you can trust them to look out for themselves. My daughter told me that she found her confidence grew the more she learned that she had a role in managing her allergies and that she could live safely in her environment if she knew what to do.

It is definitely not easy and I'm sure we missed a few parties because the conditions just weren't safe for my daughter. But as she has gotten older, my daughter has done so many things, even going with her friends to a restaurant (pre-approved, of course) without us. (That was a scary one for me, but she was fine).

One other thing my daughter enjoyed is the FAAN newsletter for kids. If you are a member of FAAN, you can sign your daughter up for this awesome newsletter, featuring kids of all ages talking about how they deal positively with their allergies. www.foodallergy.org will show you more about that, and I suggest it as it really shows kids they are not alone in this."

 

I can't say enough about this FAAN kids' newsletter. You have to be a member to gain access, so if you aren't a member, yet another reason to become one!

 

The newsletter made my daughter feel so much less alone and she loved to see what other kids with food allergies had to say. My daughter even appeared on the cover of the print version when she was 7 years old--in her Mulan Halloween costume. :)

 

If you can find a support group with kids' activities, that is great too! A lot of the local support groups have family activities. FAAN's web site has a link with a list of support groups to help you find one. MOCHA is another good source of support group info.

 

My e-book has some ideas for helping kids with food allergies cope. Click the link to learn more about how to get it.

What has helped ease the burden for your child? What has helped, you, the parent?

Have Food Allergies Made you a Cake Boss? Plus, Bracelet Giveaway Update

Hi everyone! Food Allergy Awareness Week is fully underway and it's been heartening to see so much interest and positive advocacy for those with food allergies.

Just a reminder that my Lauren's Hope Medical ID bracelet giveaway ends at 10 pm tonight. Please follow this link to enter the contest if you haven't already. (Please enter your comment to win on that post only in order to be part of the random computerized drawing.)

I encourage you to follow Lauren's Hope on social media because they frequently offer great deals and promotions, along with innovative and attractive new products. Here's how you can connect:

 

1. For new product alerts, sales and promo codes subscribe to Lauren’s Hope email alerts http://blog.laurenshope.com/sign-up-for-exclusive-offers-today/

2. Become a fan of Lauren’s Hope on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/LaurensHopeID

3. Follow Lauren’s Hope on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/laurenshopeid

4. Follow Lauren’s Hope Food Allergy board on Pinterest http://pinterest.com/laurenshope/food-allergies/ and/or follow all of our boards on Pinterest http://pinterest.com/laurenshope/

You can win one bracelet -- either for a boy or a girl, thanks to our friends at Lauren's Hope I will announce the winner this Friday. Good luck!

Now, who likes "Cake Boss?" My kids love that show and we are amazed at what Buddy and his crew can create. Around here, we do our best but we're no "Buddy." Still, when I ask my kids what the secret ingredient is they always say "love." Corny, I know--but it's true!

I had that idea in mind when FAAN asked me to contribute to their blog, "FAAN Notes," for Food Allergy Awareness Week--their theme this year is "Because I Love Someone with Food Allergies." Click the link for my story of cake baking and decorating--one I'm sure many of you will relate to.

Which brings me to my next request. Anyone who has made a cake or other treat for a birthday, holiday or special event--if you have a photo of it and you'd like to share it, please send a jpeg to nut-freemom@sbcglobal.net and I'll post some of them on Friday along with our bracelet winner's identity. Let's celebrate our baking efforts! Include your child's first name if you like and the reason for the baked treat (i.e. birthday, whatever special occasion it was).

Food Allergy Awareness Week: Check Out FAAN's Guest Bloggers!

I'll admit I'm going to be a little lazy today (because it is my birthday) and let others do the blogging for me today. :)

Have you checked out FAAN's new blog? This week, in honor of Food Allergy Awareness Week, FAAN featured five bloggers who I am lucky to have met personally and/or communicated with online. Each of them shares their perspectives on living with food allergies, both from a parenting perspective and a personal one. You'll even find yummy recipes from Kelly Rudnicki of Food Allergy Mama and cookbook author Cybele Pascale!

You'll also hear from Sloane Miller of Allergic Girl, Gina Clowes of Allergy Moms and Jennifer B of Food Allergy Buzz.

I enjoyed each entry and I think you will, too.

I hope everyone has spread awareness in some way for FAAW and remember, it's something we do all year. So be proud of what you've accomplished in terms of educating your friends, family and communities about food allergies.

Next week, I've got a new product review from Enjoy Life Foods. I can give you one hint: Chocolate!

Happy Friday the 13th everybody!

Food Allergy and Family Fights: Part 2

After my previous post on food allergy and family fights I heard even more stories about family strife revolving around food. Some of you have shared that you feel a lack of respect from family. Many of you have experienced a lack of communication with family members with regard to food they are serving. Others find that family members get angry about food restrictions.

These are very common occurrences, unfortunately. However, I don't believe that most people want drama and bad feelings. The best way around this is to be clear, consistent and positive.

This is not always easy. As I've mentioned in other posts, food allergies can bring out bad feelings simmering below the surface that may have more to do with existing relationships and less about the food allergies themselves. For example, if you never really got along with one of your in-laws or they are critical of you to begin with, expect friction. Many people don't understand food allergies and love to imply in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that they don't respect your parenting. Ask yourself if food allergies are really the cause of the friction. If not, you may be better equipped to handle hegative comments and actions when they occur.

From my own personal experience, here are a few suggestions on coping with some common food allergy scenarios that may cause fights:

Provide concise factual information. I think the number one reason for trouble is lack of understanding. Please give your close relatives any relevant brochures or medical information that you have (perhaps provided by the doctor) and suggest web sites to them such as The FAAN website for more information. Be honest about the seriousness of food allergies and keep it simple. Explain that you must protect your child and that they need to do certain things to protect your child as well. This is not an opinion; it's a fact. So be factual and businesslike when explaining the situation.

Describe the allergic reaction. Many of us have the "moment" when we first witnessed our child in the throes of a serious allergic reaction. If others (such as grandparents or siblings-in-law) weren't present for this, give them the details. Likely, they will be appalled. Explain that no allergic reaction is predictable and that you must do what you can to avoid one in order to avoid a life-threatening scenario. A lot of people mistakenly believe that food allergies result in a hive or two and a stomach ache. The people I've shared our allergy story with come away with a much better understanding of why I handle it the way I do.

Once you've made a decision, don't keep explaining or apologizing. Let's say that you just don't feel safe serving your child from a large dinner menu because you question the way the food was cooked. You decide to bring your child their own meal or maybe you greatly restrict what you allow them to eat at that meal. Some people are going to want to talk about it. They'll want to know why you're doing this ("it doesn't have nut in it"), they'll start asking about how your child copes at school, they'll question your logic, you name it. It's human nature and simple curiosity in some cases; in others, people may be angry that you don't want your child to eat their food.

While educating and explaining has its place and I certainly advocate for those things, I don't advise making this the main meal topic, especially in front of your child. For one thing, many kids really dislike being focused on in what they view as a negative way. For another, discussing life-threatening reactions to foods isn't exactly appetizing table talk. If you are getting peppered with questions about what your child eats, simply say: "My son has food allergies. We need to restrict his diet." And then change the subject. If they keep it up say, "I'd love to explain this to you later, but for now let's enjoy our meal."

Family relationships with regard to food allergies may take years of adjustment. Or, you may find that some accept it immediately and some are really skeptical. You can't let your own actions be swayed either way. It's your job to protect the health of the allergic person whether it's your child or yourself. Do what you have to do and be as upbeat as possible but don't let it get you down if you can't convince everyone.

There's another thing I've learned and that's that food allergies aren't for the faint of heart. Neither is parenting, for that matter. Hang in there, everyone. And please, keep sharing your stories here!

New Year, New Food Allergy? Here's What To Do

As we ring in 2011, I have noticed a huge increase in the number of e-mails and posts I've received from parents facing new nut allergy diagnoses in their kids and I've even heard from several young adults with new nut allergies.

The most frequent word I hear is "overwhelmed." This is so understandable. It is overwhelming. The wealth of information alone (often conflicting) can be hard to absorb. Plus, you may wonder if you'll ever have a normal life again, if you will ever learn to decipher food labels and if your child can even go to school. You wonder if every food has the potential to harm your child and/or you. Life can seem very scary and very surreal.

I've been there and I can tell you that things improve. But I can't sugar coat the facts: your life will change, sometimes in ways you may not even foresee now. Some of the changes will be hard to deal with; some may even be positive in the long run. I can think of two positive changes: becoming healthier in our family eating habits and learning to be more assertive in life and ask for what we need. I also have a truly compassionate daughter whose own struggles have made her want to be helpful to others facing different challenges.

Food allergies are never welcome and they make life more difficult at times. But you can live well with them. Here are some things that have helped me and my family:

Seek expert medical advice from an allergist. I've found the best people to handle the medical aspects of food allergy have been our allergists. Find a board-certified allergist and then follow their advice. Keep up on yearly visits, appropriate testing and keep in contact with them about medications. An allergist will be more knowledgeable on food allergies than most pediatricians, not to knock them because they're helpful, too. But an allergist will be more up-to-date on the constantly changing aspects of food allergies and this will be invaluable to you.

Always stand firm about food allergies. You'll meet people who don't take food allergies seriously, who may even blow them off completely. Sometimes those closest to you won't accept the situation. Be prepared for it. Usually, ignorance about food allergies is the key reason. If you know that something is not safe then avoid the food, situation or if need be, the person until they "get it." Risking an allergic reaction to preserve any relationship is never worth it. As we saw recently in Chicago, food allergies can be fatal when not clearly understood or properly respected.

Be informed but don't overload on random info. This is the hardest thing because Internet access can uncover some crazy stories and information. Stick to respected resources such as The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network, Allergic Living magazine and The Food Allergy Initiative for research and facts. (And I hope you'll visit me for lifestyle tips and food allergy news.) Overloading on stories of food allergy deaths or unproven medical information is never helpful and may be harmful.

Knowledge is half the battle. The good news is, if you're reading this you probably have received medication, medical advice and are just generally prepared to face a reaction if it occurs. Witnessing an allergic reaction without any knowledge of what may be causing it or without any medication to treat it is much, much worse. If you know what you're dealing with, you can avoid or safely adapt to potentially harmful situations and cut down on risk.

I want to wish a healthy and Happy New Year to you all! Let's be safe together and please continue to share your input and comments!

Food Allergy Walk for a Cure: Support Team Nut-Free Mom

Calling all blog readers! I need your help! I'm doing the FAAN Walk for a Cure fundraising this year, and I am seeking donations from my you, my loyal readers.

I know I have the best blog readers in the world and you all truly inspire me. I am eager to hear about your concerns, struggles, obstacles and triumphs on this food allergy journey because I am on it with you. That's why I started this blog and now, that's why I'm walking in Chicago on October 17th.

This blog has long been the place where we converge to discuss the challenges of living with nut-allergies. Many of you either have a child or family member with a nut allergy and lately I've been hearing from adults with nut allergies.

We all want the same things: advocacy, education, and ultimately a workable cure for this life-threatening condition. FAAN is hard at work to make all of these happen. I don't know what I would have done without them in the early days of my daughter's diagnosis, and I am hoping the $$ contribution from my walk will help them keep up the good work.

Here is the link that will take you directly to my fundraising page. Click the "Support Me" to donate. Thank you in advance! I hope to see you in Chicago soon!!

Food Allergy News: FAAN on Lifetime's "The Balancing Act"

The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network is really working hard to raise food allergy awareness and educate the general public about food allergies. Don't miss their appearance on Lifetime TV this Tuesday, September 21st! I just received the following alert from FAAN e-news:

Remember to tune into “The Balancing Act,” on Lifetime Television, Sept. 21 at 7:00 a.m. for a segment about food allergies featuring FAAN. Click in the link for the show's promo and be sure to tune in!

The program will feature interviews with our Heart of FAAN Child Ambassador Leandro de Armas, Brian Hom, who tragically lost his son as the result of a fatal food allergy reaction, and Maria Acebal, FAAN’s Vice President of Research and General Counsel, as well as a demonstration of how to use an epinephrine auto-injector.

Let's show our support for public education about life-threatening food allergies by watching this much-needed program!

Peanut Allergy and Air Travel: Make Your Voices Heard!

I recently blogged about the current evaluation by the U.S. Department of Transportation regarding the proposed ban on peanuts for all airlines and I'm talking about it again because it's so important. This story is getting a lot of media attention and the food allergy naysayers are out in full force. It's time to speak out because many who oppose the ban are pushing back--hard. We need to show our numbers and strength here, not to mention the very good reasons why this food should be banned from air travel.

Peanuts and tree nuts aren't required to keep airplane engines aloft. People won't die if they are denied peanuts and tree nuts for a couple of hours--but in-cabin exposure to this serious allergen can cause death or life-threatening reactions. People don't choose to have a life-threatening food allergy and shouldn't be denied safe passage on a public conveyance because of this medical condition, all because of a snack that is easily replaced.

Please click this link to the FAAN page about this and you'll find the DOT link that will allow you to comment on this. FAAN also offers advice and direction on using the DOT link, so check that out too.

We have until August 9th, so please make your voices heard! So many people are making ignorant comments and remarks, downplaying peanut and tree nut allergies and portraying those in support of a ban as being overprotective and even "un-American." I guess having allergies isn't American?? In any case, please state your case calmly and share your personal airline stories if you have them.

You CAN make a big difference here. Remember, smoking used to be allowed on airlines, too. So did liquids bigger than 1 oz. Things change. People will get used to peanut/tree nut ban on airlines. But we must speak up.

So click here to find the link to DOT and then share your comments with the government. They want to know how we feel--and how often does that happen???--so let's tell them.

Food Allergy Awareness Week--Has Your Governor Gotten On Board?

Would you like your state to formally recognize food allergy awareness week? The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN) has some news about how to get this done:

Food Allergy Awareness Week: May 9-15, 2010

Ask your Governor to Issue a Food Allergy Awareness Week Proclamation

Issuing a Food Allergy Awareness Week proclamation is a great way to help raise awareness in your State!

Ask your Governor to declare May 9-15, 2010 Food Allergy Awareness Week!
(Note: We have already received proclamations from Alabama, Illinois (yes!), Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Nebraska, Washington, and Wisconsin.)

Follow this link to find a customizable letter you can send to your state governor. It's so easy--they've got all the info you need right there!

Food Allergy Awareness Week is such a great invention--and a wonderful way to get our communities to learn about the realities of what food allergy mean, who they affect and how to prevent reactions. An official state proclamation gives this important advocacy effort even more legitimacy.

If your state isn't on board yet, click this link now and let them hear from you.