Food Allergies, Asthma and the Pursuit of Happiness

Last night, I watched my daughter perform her first ever "big solo" role in a musical and not only was I very proud to see her shine, but it got me thinking. I take nothing for granted because in the early days of my daughter's diagnosis of food allergy (and later, some severe asthma issues) I often wondered how she would be able to do "regular" things like performing in a show with a bunch of other kids.

Like so many of you who are confronting nut allergies and asthma for the first time, I was simply overwhelmed at first with the task of keeping my daughter safe and knowing what foods to feed her. Not fully understanding or having experience with allergies and asthma, I wondered how we would be able to allow her to participate in activities we had always assumed were part of childhood--camps, birthday parties, school, play dates -- and eventually, extracurricular activities and sports.

We took each situation as it came, and step by step began to discover the parameters of what we would do. Each successful completion of an activity led to more confidence. Sometimes asthma intruded; it was worse when my daughter was younger and just developing seasonal allergies. Going outside among grass seed was enough to labor her breathing and require treatment. Coupled with food allergies it was rough going for a couple of years. Bottom line: extracurricular activities like the ones she does now were always something we wanted to do, but we wondered if certain things would even be possible.

So now here we are: my daughter is 12 years old and developing a wonderful singing voice (breath control required) and we are fortunate that asthma symptoms have abated quite a bit. (We don't know why, we're just grateful that they have.) My husband and I now drop our child off and go watch her as audience members, rather than volunteering backstage for each show (as we used to do when she was much younger and in dance recitals, for example). I enjoy every minute of this "freedom" because it wasn't always possible.

For those of you confronting allergies (and/or asthma) with younger kids it may all seem impossible to ever be able to let go and allow your child to participate in regular activities because, as we know, allergens are everywhere. Of course, you always have to be careful about foods and allergens, especially with regard to precautions. That never goes away.

But from one parent to another, I encourage you to do the things your child wants to do to the best of their ability. Every family has their comfort zones, but don't let the allergy keep your child from the activities they enjoy. It is so rewarding to see them grow and learn to manage things on their own as they get older and more independent. If you can find a way to work out the safety details (and that takes effort from you and cooperation from others, I know), your kids will gain the confidence they will need to help themselves stay safe and healthy later in life.

To see the young adult perspective first hand, check out this great video from the Food Allergy Initiative. Teens talking about their food allergies--it's great for parents to get this perspective.

Having Peanut Allergies Doesn't Mean You Can't Strut Your Stuff

This was a tough week for peanut allergies. The U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) decided to back off its proposal for an airline peanut ban after pressure from peanut farmers (but hopefully not from numerous ignorant, hateful comments they received from folks not in the know but very creative with their language).

McDonald's introduced a new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup "McFlurry" rendering a former nut allergy-friendly restaurant questionably safe for those with peanut allergies. (More on that development in a future post.)

Some of this stuff has gotten me down and it's gotten many of you down. So I thought it was time to share a positive story from our family.

Many people viewing this blog have very young kids who have been recently diagnosed with severe peanut and/or tree nut allergies. The first thought we have when this happens is how our kids are going to coexist in the "nutty" world we live in.

For example, parents have worries about school, sports, extracurricular activities and any type of normal social life. They worry that this will be impossible for their kids. I know that I worried this way and it's a natural worry. Food affects all parts of life and peanut butter is a number one risk at any school.

So let me tell you about what I witnessed last night. My 10-year-old daughter was in a production of High School Musical Jr. (for younger kids) as part of a theater camp. She didn't have a big role--it was her first play and she was cast as a Wildcats Cheerleader. The cast was huge--she was up there with dozens of other kids most of the time.

This is exactly the kind of thing I wondered if she could ever do. Because kids are eating peanut butter right and left, it's going everywhere and if there's peanut butter there is always risk of reaction.

All of this is still true. But this girl had a huge smile on her face the entire show--she was having the time of her life. She was confident and happy and it showed.

Risks were undoubtedly part of this experience as they always are. Backstage, I told her to watch what she eats (we packed her own snacks of course) and not to share certain makeup (especially lipstick--goes on the mouth!) with other cast members. When questioned after the show, she told me she had followed all of our rules and even read the label of foundation makeup before it was applied.

I know I've written about this before, but for those of you who are new to my blog, I want to reassure you that the lessons sink in. When you teach your severely allergic kids how to cope, they will. And then you can sit back and enjoy them as I did last night.

Both of my daughters were in shows last night and they were both fabulous. For the first time, I really felt some of my worry subside regarding my oldest and her allergies. She is growing and learning how to be independent and the proof was right onstage for me to see.

Give Your Food Allergy Essentials a Spring Update!

As the school year winds down, now is a great time to check your food allergy medications, bracelets and other gear to make sure that everything is up to date and current. For example, I came across one of my daughter's many EpiPens only to find that it expires next month. Several others don't expire until next fall, but I definitely don't want any duds laying around.

What about you? For those of you with kids in school or daycare, now is a great time to check the dates of your child's prescriptions (if you don't have them filed away already), see if they're getting low on anything (asthma inhalers or other medications for example) and to make sure that medical I.D. allergy bracelets still fit.

Also, since summer is coming, now is a great time to get those all-important medical forms filled out by your allergist. Allergists will be super-busy for the next few months, so get your forms in early.

Some of you have probably heard of the Center for Anaphylactic Support--they are a great group that offers EpiPen video tutorials as well as a FREE EpiPen renewal reminder service. Check the site to find out more--it's also a great site for friends and relatives who want to learn more about severe allergies.

If your child has outgrown their Medical I.D. bracelet (either mentally or physically), check out some new designs on the Medic Alert website. The Kid Smart program comes with a discount for children 17 and under. New Medic Alert jewelry include girly beading (for young fashionistas) and shoe tags that boys may prefer to wear. (On a side note, you'll also see adorable Alexis Fellows, daughter of mom Michele who runs the fabulous dairy, egg and nut-free bakery Sweet Alexis, when you click on the site!)

Spring updates can be a chore, but don't forget to do a spring sweep of your child's allergy needs. Anything I forgot to mention? Share your spring updates with us!

Birthday Party Blues

Is it me, or is there a birthday party every weekend? I mean, I have nothing against celebrations of any kind, but when families are working and busy, it can get kind of crazy.

Most parents feel obligated to have their child attend any party they are invited to but I think some of us do it with a less-than-cheerful attitude. After all, don't parents deserve a weekend to just have a tiny bit of R&R?

As the parent of a child with life-threatening food allergies, I have to weigh each invitation a little more carefully than I would otherwise. There could be any number of reasons that we skip a party, not always because of food allergy issues. But I would be lying if it I said it doesn't play a role. Of course, sometimes we just can't go. And if my daughter really wants to attend, we make sure that she does.

Still, I've always had the nagging suspicion that if my daughter were free of food allergies, birthday party worries would be non-existent.

Turns out I'm wrong! I was reading a Chicago Moms Blog that is cross-linked to the DC Moms Blog (I know, it's a little confusing) the other day and the topic of discussion was birthday parties. Specifically, birthday parties that occur during the week. The moms were debating whether or not these birthday parties were designed to exclude the "working moms." They also complained about the inconvenience of too many birthday party invitations not necessarily being a welcome thing. On that one, I hear ya, sisters.

Doesn't matter if you're a "Nut-Free Mom" or not. Birthday parties aren't always a piece of cake for busy parents, no matter what the situation. Whew! It's not just me.

Nut-Free Family Fun at the Kohl

A reader recently posted about Kohl Children's Museum in Glenview since it houses a "nut-free bakery." My family enjoys it there so much I thought it deserved its own blog entry.

Besides offering fun, hands-on activities for young kids including a house you can "decorate" (see above), a pretend vet, painting and crafts, an elaborate pretend grocery store,"water works," a musical instrument exhibit and lots more, the Kohl houses a wonderful nut-free bakery called "Kim & Scotts Pretzel Bakery and Twisting Cafe." The pretzels are yummy, and they have a hot chocolate "bar." My family has been there several times, so thanks again to the reader who reminded me about it.

According to their web site, Kim & Scott's also has egg-free and dairy-free options. May I make a suggestion? Take some time to send them a supportive "thank you" e-mail. And go to the restaurant if you can. We need more places like this and the ones that exist need our support.

Another restaurant that always asks about food allergies when you call to make a reservation and is peanut-free (though not completely "nut-free", yet) is the American Girl Cafe in Chicago. I know that's not the type of place you'd go every weekend, but I appreciate that they avoid peanuts. No PB&J to be found there!

Please post if you know of other nut allergy friendly places for families.

Birthday Girls, Dreams for the Future

Yesterday was my oldest daughter A's birthday (on the left). She turned 8! Last week, my youngest, Z. turned 5. Yes, February is a big month in our family. Happy Birthday(s) my little ladies!

It got me thinking about how far I've come in terms of understanding nut allergies. I'd heard of them before my daughter's diagnosis, but did not think we were at risk.

It's scary to hear that the child you thought was perfect has a serious medical condition, especially when it relates to a common food that most kids love. It sounds like a joke, actually. Remember that game, "Frogger?." (Now I'm dating myself.) The frog has to dash through a ridiculously busy street without getting squashed. It's harder than it looks.

That's what parenting a child with severe food allergies feels like sometimes. You're constantly dodging through traffic, in my case peanut butter and all its incarnations.

In the 4 years since we learned of our daughter's allergies, a lot of progress has been made, both medically and in society's acceptance of food allergies. That's wonderful. Sadly, more and more children are being diagnosed.

In the midst of the fun and activity, I thought about the other children being born on my daughter's birthday. How many of them would share her allergies? My future hope is that someday there is a cure. My other hope is that food-allergic kids and their families get the support and compassion they need.

In the meantime, you know what? I was always pretty good at "Frogger."

Donald Trump, Food Allergies and Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

Food allergies make strange bedfellows out of the most diverse people. Yes, apparently, everyone IS affected by them. And here's proof: Donald Trump is now involved (in an inadvertant way, to be sure but, read on.)

I never thought I'd be grateful to Donald Trump for anything, but.... If you watch "Celebrity Apprentice"(I admit that I don't--but I think I might have to start) you already know that country music star Trace Adkins is currently appearing on the show to benefit The Food Allergy Anaphylaxis Network. This is the first time (that I'm aware of) that a commercial TV show has shed light on food allergies in this way. If you click the above link you can see video of Trace talking about his daughter's food allergies and his decision to support FAAN.

I am thrilled that someone in the spotlight would choose this issue to support. I am not a country music fan, but apparently Mr. Adkins has had several hits including, (I must say one of the funniest song titles I've ever heard): "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." Yeah, that's right. The song is all about butts. The video pretty much is a woman's worst nightmare, OK, you've got me there. But I laughed myself silly when I heard the song and I'm driving my husband crazy by singing it constantly.

I would link directly to the video, but I'm trying to keep this a family blog. :) You can watch it on youtube if you want to. Let me just say this: it looks like they're at Gilly's from "Urban Cowboy" if the girls at Gilly's wore gold lame hot pants.

Actually, I can't think of a better spokesperson at the moment. Here's the thing: this guy is clearly not all PC, which food-allergic parents are frequently accused of being, and that's the excuse for people not taking it seriously. Just imagine if Brangelina were the spokespeople for food allergies. Yikes.

I thank Mr. Adkins for supporting this issue and I hope he's successful on "Celebrity Apprentice." Week 5 has just passed and Trump still hasn't told him "You're fired!" He's already beat out Gene Simmons of Kiss. That's pretty impressive in my book.

And if Trace Adkins wins the competition, I may have to make "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" my personal ringtone.